Rockford Health-How Often Do You Attend to Your Stress Management?

Rockford Health
Thinking about the Anger Management Workshop I completed yesterday, for four court ordered folks, and wondering about how to make it more effective. While I am very clear that folks who get to my door are more interested in getting the Criminal Justice System off their back than they are interested in experiencing a transformative life workshop, I am often concerned that seldom do folks implement on their own any of the tools I introduce them to.
I do know that folks remember them, because I have had some repeat customers who talk about Heartmath, for example, when they come back.
As part of the workshop, folks are required to tell the story of what happened in the moments just prior to their arrest. In part, this is a trust building exercise for all of us. No one, including myself, wants to be in a group with a psychopathic axe murderer, and telling the story of the arrest allows us to build a container into which some grief might pour if necessary, and this kind of introduction also allow me to begin the process of helping clients understand how fast their Central Nervous System works, and that they actually made decisions, perhaps several in a very short period of time, which lead to their arrest.
Introductions therefore serve as a trust building process and as a teaching opportunity. It is at this point that I begin to introduce clients to the idea of engineering joy. I tell my clients that there is no reason not to feel joy as often as they want, perhaps every five minutes for two heart beats.
Over the course of our time together, I repeat that mantra and lead each of them through an exercise where a memory is used to bring on a feeling of joy, and a memory is used to bring on a feeling of pain.
In the years I have been doing this work, almost every client is involved in a very complicated personal relationship which is stressful, and the potential for strong feelings is going to be present for a long time, as in a divorce involving custody issues.
This past workshop was no different, and I build up to using Heartmath as the core of workshop, because my clients can see, on the projector screen, the impact of their thinking and breathing on their physiology. They are hooked up to a computer which measures the time between heartbeats, and I project the computer screen on the wall so everyone can see several times how quickly the body changes in response to the environment.
I guess the good news is that most of my clients are far better at inducing relaxation and holding it than they realize.
Actually that is good news for all of us.
However, I want to take my personal life a bit further. Stress management needs to happen long before there is a build up to a blow up, which could mean something like 3/18′s of a second. You knew that your Central Nervous System could change from warm greetings to aggression physiology about 2x as fast as you can blink your eyes, which is 1/10th second? So if I get my attention focused on something like my heart beat, and I think about how long my life actually lasts, which is a heart beat at a time, maybe stress management takes on a greater importance, and I really learn my Heartmath. Makes perfect sense to me, and I will search for ideas about how to make my clients’ response to this information more urgent.